I think everyone with any kind of a chronic illness has some kind of fears. I was thinking about this and realized that I too have fears associated with this Fibromyalgia. There are so many different symptoms that affect my body. There are the migraines, the muscles cramps, the irritable bowel syndrome, the numbness in my feet and hands, the achiness all over, the pins and needles poking me here and there, the fatigue that hits me like a mack truck,the jaw pain,the carpal tunnel, the disc problems, the balance problems, and now most recently my lungs have a problem! I recently had two lung function tests and did not do well on either of them. I now need to see a pulmonary specialist to have him evaluate me and see what is going on. Naturally, I have concerns. Sometimes I am concerned that the day will come and I won't be able to drive anymore...that I would absolutely hate! Then, of course with my hands going numb quite a bit I am concerned about their use. I do as much writing as I possibly can while I can....I have so much I want to write about! So much has been left unsaid! Then, I guess sometimes I fear that there will be no one to care, or be there for me when I really am not able to care for myself. I hope and pray I am never in that situation, but know there are some of my friends who are! I keep reminding myself that God has always taken care of me one way or another and He knows what is ahead. This is a disease the medical profession knows very little about....therefore I have some fears concerning the diagnosis itself! Since so little is known it is possible for them to not be able to help me the way I need it. This is such a mystery illness! That is why there is such a need for research and public awareness! When you tell someone you have Fibromyalgia they pretty much look at you and say..".Oh, that's not so bad... is that all?" Do you even have a clue? Please ... at least look it up and educate yourself and realize that it is a disease, and if someone you love has it be supportive. Do not expect them to feel better in two days as if they only have a "bug". Their illness is not going away! You may not think they are sick because when you see them they look fine to you, but believe me...when I tell you that when you live with this everyday, you learn how to fake feeling good to your friends when you do finally get the energy to get dressed and get out of the house!
I have been falsely accused! I have to admit I do watch the weather channel quite a bit...but NOT all the time! ....Sometimes my body does a more accurate job of forecasting the weather anyway! You know what I mean if you have the achy joints and muscle cramps that are all affected by damp weather. My body starts to aching whenever those rain clouds start gathering in the sky, and I can predict pretty accurately when we are going to get snow, according to how severely my knees are hurting! Today must be going to be a pretty rainy damp day here in the North land since when my weird body woke early this morning at 4 a.m. I felt the rain coming on! The bones in my hands are hurting, the knees of course, the morning headache, the neck pain, the foot cramps...the whole nine yards. Wow...I thought Spring was supposed to have sprung by now! I am determined to not let this body dictate how I feel on the inside..it is hard to do and I know because I have to do it. It is easy for people to tell you not to be depressed and gloomy when they feel all chipper and don't have a problem in the world. But, taken from someone who has been through the same things or maybe even some worse things...well, then you can stop for a sec and listen. So on this day that has a Fibro Forecast of all sorts of aches and pains at least here in my neck of the woods, I once again, choose to think on things that will take my mind off of myself and my problems. It is Easter and my mind goes to the Cross of Calvary. Not just a Bible story to me. A real place where a real man gave up His life in the place of mine....way before I even existed...because He loved me and didn't want me to have to pay the price for my own sin! Wow.. the agony he endured kind of makes my pain look pretty petty. Though there are so many who still think it is a myth...Christ actually did rise from His grave and had victory over death which should give us something to be thankful for! He truly was the son of God and had the power and authority to take away the shame and guilt of my sins..all of them..thank God He didn't pick out certain sins and say that only they could be forgiven but this one or that one was just too rotten or dirty! God doesn't do like people!! Grace, Mercy, Love and Compassion....that is the forecast for today, in spite of how I feel.
