I am following my Dr.'s orders... I am supposed to be walking as part of my recovery process... to make sure my lungs are working and clearing. Today was a good day for a walk not too hot and not really raining either. I put on my new hat that one of my friends gave me and grabbed a walking stick, the bug spray and off into the woods we went. I had no idea at the beginning of this walk that it was going to be so long and hard but it soon became quite obvious to me that what used to be an easy walk for me now was quite a task with this piece of lung missing! The grass had overtaken our usual path through the woods and the blades were up to my eyebrows! It was as hard as walking through a snowstorm. My chest was soon aching and hurting with each breathe but I know that I need this exercise in order to strengthen my lung and to start getting back some energy. I was thankful for the many distractions along the overgrown path. The blackberry bushes are already showing signs of a great season in another month and the apple trees have more apples than I have ever seen on them! Wild strawberries here and there were a nice juicy treat and a few ripe raspberries were tasty as well. No wonder the bears love this property... there are signs of them sleeping here and there where the grass is all trodden down in a huge round circle. It is nice to be able to take a walk on such a quiet piece of land and see so much. It sure beats walking around the block in the city any day of the week! So I guess if this is what the Doctor wants me to do... I will just have to keep on doing it!
People can be well meaning but say some pretty stupid things to people who are sick especially to those of us who are chronically sick! You see, when you have something that is never going away such as a chronic illness it seems pretty ridiculous when someone asks you if you feel "better". The fact is.... if you have a disease that is chronic that causes chronic pain.... then you are never actually going to FEEL better than you do. That is a sobering thought but for us with this disease the sooner we accept that the easier it is to deal with. It is none the less still annoying however when people around you expect you to be jumping jumping jacks and feeling like weeding a garden or even doing anything at all....sometimes they just don't get it! I have a disease people.... I want to say... it is not an excuse, but it is a REASON why I do not do some of the things you expect of me! It is the reason I don't feel "good" most of the time! It is the reason I may seem a little less friendly to you or maybe not as hospitable as you think I should be! Maybe I don't like to be analyzed by you every time you walk into my house! Maybe I just want to be accepted for who I am and for the person I am. Maybe you don't believe that I am really sick. Maybe you just don't understand medical things so it is way easier for you just to ignore my complaints and brush them off as nothing..... it is something to me...I speak for all of my friends I am sure... there are lots of us who have chronic illnesses but our friends and families just don't get it! They expect us to get better any second now and resume to our former self when we were full of energy and working....Our progressive autoimmune diseases are just that! Progressive....meaning... they will continue to worsen over time... things will not improve or just get better. Life will change. Things are not the same. Some of us will end up in wheel chairs,some in better shape, but overall, we need support of family and friends. Do us a favor....stop thinking we are going to get better! If we tell you we have an autoimmune disease then accept this and stop thinking we are lying to you.... who would want it? Who would lie about that?